Immediate thoughts: I have absolutely no one I can talk to about this. Anyone I'm close to is either too close to him or not a fan of him; neither perspective can be objective. At least I can write.
What I can't figure out is, if I don't want this then why am I letting it happen?
............................
I would have written so much more were it not for the barrage of phone calls, texts, ims and messages spurred by unnecessary Facebook posts... sigh.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The Parsley Induction
“Why would she want to induce her period?” one fan of Get Mommy a Drink commented Tuesday night after Stephanie posted this subject on Facebook. The specific reason this month is that I’m going to the Baltimore Comic Con next weekend. For the majority of the event, I plan on wearing my Star Trek the Next Generation one-piece jumpsuit which zips from behind. I can not get into or out of the uniform without help and must remove it even to go to the bathroom. Well, guess what else will accompany me to the convention if Mother Nature has her way?
In high school my friends nicknamed it “Suzy,” my mother taught me to refer to it as “my cousin from Red Bank, New Jersey,” I hear some call it “Aunt Flow,” but my period is a monstrous beast that always lasts far too long (sometimes lingering as many as 9 days) and shows up at the most inconvenient times. Generally, my cycle is 28 days, unless I have something important that it can mess up for me. Last December, it came on the 32nd and was still in full swing during the New Year’s Eve party I attended. In June, it decided to pop in on the 25th day, forcing me to keep tampons on standby while I was a bridesmaid in a wedding. This time, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I was due to start the Saturday before my trip, but I could not chance it coming a day or two late or worse yet, coming on time but lasting through next weekend.
A Google search for “make my period start early” mostly brings up forums full of whining preteens wanting to get their first period (poor deluded darlings!). Then I stumbled up this post from a HealthRevolution.com forum:
the best way to make your period come faster is by shoving parsley up your vagina, it is also very refreshing, me and my friends do it all the time it works wonders! if you have any questions please post me back i would love to help, and yes i am serious about this!!
Posted 01:40AM (EDT) on 2009-04-23 by 
PleasurePalace13
PleasurePalace13As absurd as this may seem, parsley is a known emmenagogue (which I learned in my research means an agent that brings on menstruation). In fact, many of these herbal remedy sites suggest using parsley to make a vaginal suppository. I’m far too squeamish to go try that, but I decided to drink parsley tea. Lucky for everyone else, I kept a journal of my silly adventure:
Tuesday, August 9th
11:15 pm: Made a cup of tea with 2 tablespoons of dried parsley and 8 ounces of hot water. The internet said to strain it, but I’m going to consume everything to maximize my parsley intake.
Blekch! It’s like swallowing grass clippings.
Read ginger is also an emmenagogue; ate half a box of ginger snaps while drinking nasty ass tea.
11:45 pm: I now have a minor headache; not severe pain, but enough to be irritating.
Wednesday, August 10th
6:30 am: Woke up surprised to find that the headache is still here.
7:15 am: Ate a small breakfast and drank 2nd cup of tea. As I get ready for work, the headache is worsening, and I’m starting to feel nauseous.
9:00 am: I am in the throes of a full blown migraine with some serious nausea. Luckily, my office keeps plenty of over the counter drugs on hand which I took a few moments ago.
9:45 am: The headache has subsided and the nausea is over. Maybe that wasn’t so bad.
12:30 pm: Purchased two bunches of fresh parsley during my lunch break and proceeded to use it to ruin the flavor of my ham sandwich. Honestly, if I had only used a little bit of it, the taste would have been pretty good. But in the name of science, I loaded the sandwich with about 12oz of leaves.
2:00 pm: Headache returning as I get a call from my boyfriend who tells me my "in the name of science" declaration is hogwash. He's absolutely correct, because my period coming one or two days early will not prove a thing. If my period comes tonight, however, I think that proves a lot. On ward with the experiment!
6:00 pm: Smothered my dinner salad in more fresh parsley. The first taste induces the headache, and I'm feeling a bit woozy as I finish my plate.
8:30 pm: This time, I wisely add honey and lemon to my dried parsley tea. I have some more gingersnaps, and share the details of my experiment with my mother. She jokes about wrapping herbs in cheese cloth and using it as a tampon without realizing that this is the exact method some hippy bloggers use. The flavor additives and laughter keep my mind off of the headache.
9:00 pm: No nausea, and only a moderate headache while I get ready for bed.
10:30 pm: Extreme headache and nausea- cannot possibly edit blog or attempt to swallow another flake of green shit!
Thursday, August 11th
6:30 am: Awoke with headache. The only symptom I have of an oncoming period is that I hate my life right now.
7:15 am: Made my way out of bed and into the bathroom to discover that my period is here.
Conclusions:
Yes, I got my period, but it was the 26th day of my cycle. As I mentioned before, it has been that early in the past without any foul-tasting herbal encouragement. Did I mention that ingesting copious amounts of parsley made me ill? Regardless of the results, I will not be experimenting on my own with any more emmenagogues. I did, however, call my OB/GYN today to set up an appointment to get a prescrip
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
My parents are hogging Dexter
For a few years now, two of my dearest friends have been urging me to watch Dexter. I don't know what took me so long, but I finally found it on Netflix watch instantly a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say, I have been completely enthralled ever since! In getting myself hooked, I also managed to suck in my parents. Did I mention I live with them?
At first, this worked out fine, that is, both myself and my parents watching Dexter (the living situation is another blog). We could watch together through the Wii, and when I had enough of them, I could watch alone on my lap top. When I was ahead, it didn't bother me to repeat an episode with them. Who could ever get too much Dexter?! Then sadly, after only two weeks of watching instantly, we finished seasons 1 & 2. Luckily, my bestest-bestie Shakes let me borrow his DVDs of 3 & 4.
This should have been great, except my parents have somehow gotten ahead of me! Not only are they hogging the discs, but they put it on in the middle of the living room when I'm nearby. I'll be in the adjoining kitchen trying to decorate a cake, or work on a school project, and they'll have it on full volume spoiling everything for me. Hmmphf! This is the be all and end all reason for why I need my own place.
At first, this worked out fine, that is, both myself and my parents watching Dexter (the living situation is another blog). We could watch together through the Wii, and when I had enough of them, I could watch alone on my lap top. When I was ahead, it didn't bother me to repeat an episode with them. Who could ever get too much Dexter?! Then sadly, after only two weeks of watching instantly, we finished seasons 1 & 2. Luckily, my bestest-bestie Shakes let me borrow his DVDs of 3 & 4.
This should have been great, except my parents have somehow gotten ahead of me! Not only are they hogging the discs, but they put it on in the middle of the living room when I'm nearby. I'll be in the adjoining kitchen trying to decorate a cake, or work on a school project, and they'll have it on full volume spoiling everything for me. Hmmphf! This is the be all and end all reason for why I need my own place.
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